The Proposal
by Catygirl
Summary: Set in the middle of my fic "The Counsellor", this is the missing scene between Jack and Sam. Might be good to read the Counsellor first.


The Proposal

 _AN: So in my story, The Counsellor (also on this site, if you want to read first) there is a scene missing because the story is from the Counsellor, Katie's, point of view. So this is the missing scene. It would make more sense if that one is read first. It also contains fic information from the rest of that series, Becoming her Counsellor, Becoming their Counsellor, Doing her Job so to fully understand you might want to read them first too. Enjoy._

The missing scene from the middle of my Counsellor fic when Sam goes to find Jack.

Sam almost ran from the counsellor's office to the elevator. Katie was right. She did know Jack. He liked to hide at times. He liked to think that he'd kept her out but Katie had nailed them correctly. Sam was in his life, in his head, and not just as a partner but as a 2IC and a close friend. She knew him.

Screeching to a halt in front of the elevator, Sam hit the call button and jumped in as soon as the door was open enough for her to fit through. She quickly hit the button for the surface and paced as the elevator ascended. She knew exactly where he was. It was the same place she'd found him when there'd been issues with Cassie, the place where she'd found him when they'd discussed whether or not to have a relationship. Of course, on those two occasions he'd had no idea that she'd actually seen him.

As soon as she got to the surface Sam raced outside, only slowing down momentarily to scribble her name as she signed out, then ran to her Volvo, quickly opening the door. She jumped in and careened through the checkpoints, briefly waving to the security personnel as she raced past them. She'd probably have to answer for that later but getting to Jack was too important. She had to get this out in the open. They needed to face this so they could move on. She wouldn't let him run from her again.

Sam still didn't really understand what had caused Jack to put distance between them emotionally but it was starting to become clear. He wasn't complicated; he was a black ops airman who was ready to die for his country and who kept his emotions in check at all times. But that didn't mean he didn't have feelings, just that sometimes it took a lot to get them out in the open.

The past year when they'd been allowed to freely date had been incredible. Jack had gradually begun to open up to her and Sam had thought they'd been making headway. It had taken awhile for them to get together after they'd been granted permission to start dating but Katie, the counsellor, had helped them both to see that they could make it work within SG-1. In all honesty, Sam could say that very little had changed in the field, well, at least until they'd hit the problem of a next-of-kin form. Jack had withdrawn and Sam needed to know why. She suspected it was because the form made everything a little too real.

Breaking into her musings when she got closer to the city, Sam checked where she was and then took the turning that would take her to the cemetery. She didn't have any solid evidence that Jack was there but her gut told her that she was right. He'd be beside Charlie, beside the little boy whose death had completely destroyed him. Charlie was off-limits as far as conversation went between Jack and her. He never brought him up and, after trying once, Sam had given up. Okay, so she wasn't proud of the fact that she'd given up but he'd put up the shutters and she knew she wouldn't be able to get through. She also knew it would shock him when she found him at the cemetery but, as she pulled up alongside his truck, she decided that he'd find out exactly how much she knew him – today!

Taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart, Sam stepped out of her Volvo and slowly walked down the gravel path. The last time she'd been here she'd stuck to the grass, trying to keep quiet to ensure that Jack didn't hear her. But today she wanted him to know she was there. She didn't want to surprise him but she wanted him to realise that she'd found him. She followed the meandering path around the large memorials that marked older graves, climbed the gentle slope, and could then see Jack sitting on the ground beside the grave that backed on to the wall of the cemetery. She deliberately made some noise as she approached him and he looked up, his expression shocked until he schooled his features.

"Hi," Sam said quietly as she walked to stand in front of him. Now that she was there she was struggling to know exactly what to say. However, it was soon taken out of her hands.

"How did you find me?" Jack asked hoarsely, looking back down at the grave.

That one she could answer. "Logic. You always come here to think. I've found you here a couple of times, actually."

Jack briefly looked up at Sam. "No way, Carter. I would've noticed."

Sam sat down beside Jack with her back to the wall as well, a typical pose for the two of them, eliminating one side of potential attack. "You never noticed. I stood right over there," Sam replied as she pointed to a large tree across the cemetery, "And watched you for nearly an hour. That was the day we decided to get together, you remember?" She nudged Jack who was staring at the tree she'd pointed out.

Jack looked at where Sam was pointing then looked back down again. "Yeah… but you were on my doorstep?"

"I was. I didn't think you'd welcome me talking to you here so I waited for you at your house."

Jack cleared his throat before asking the killer question. "Why is it different today?"

Sam pulled her knees up to her chest and grabbed his hand. "Because… despite the fact that you've been an ass for several weeks, we're together now and I deserve to know what's going on in your head."

Jack thought about that for a few moments before saying quietly, "I find it hard to talk about him."

"I know and I don't expect you to share much of him. He was yours and Sara's. But I need you to start sharing you, Jack, and your worries, like why the man I love won't sign my next-of-kin form."

Jack stood up abruptly and moved a little away from Sam, refusing to look at her. "Because I can't, okay?"

Sam got to her feet as well. "Why, Jack? Talk to me. Explain why."

"Look, Carter, you knew what I was like before we got together. If you can't handle it then maybe it's time to end this."

Sam angrily marched to stand right in front of Jack, forcing him to look at her. "I can't believe you just said that! Yes, I know you, I know the CO who has an incredible mind for strategy. I know the soldier who would willingly risk his life to save not only his team but also a complete stranger. I know the grumpy man who refuses to wake up in the morning when we have downtime. I know you, Jack, and I know you don't want us to split up."

Jack lost some of his bluster and grabbed hold of her hand. "No, I don't want us to split up."

Sam began rubbing her thumb gently over his knuckles, something she'd found early on calmed him very successfully. "Jack, I love you and want you to officially have a say in what happens to me if things go wrong. I don't understand why you don't want that."

Jack was seriously struggling to keep his emotions in check and voiced the one fear he'd had ever since she'd brought up the whole issue. "What if I make the wrong decision?"

Sam smiled tearily up at him. She could understand that fear and was relieved that he'd started to open up to her. "But we can talk about any possible situations so you'd know what I'd want."

"What if that's not what I want?"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, not yet understanding his problem.

Jack nodded to Charlie's grave. "I had to make a decision. He was dying, they couldn't save him, but they could keep him alive for another few hours. They asked me to decide. Sara was a wreck. She wanted to keep him with her but the doctors said he was in pain. I couldn't live with that so I gave my permission. I've regretted it ever since. I don't know that I made the right decision."

"I'm so sorry, Jack. I can't believe they made you make that choice."

"I don't want to be in that position ever again, Sam. What if you want the machines turned off and I can't let you go. I love you and I'm not the best person to make those decisions."

"Jack, you know me and I know you and we can put any protocols in writing that you want. But I want you to have a say."

Jack gently took his hand back from Sam and turned his back to her but Sam didn't take offense. She knew he often had to regroup when they were having any sort of serious conversation. In a strange way she took pride in the fact that he'd let her in so much that he'd had to step back. On the other hand, it drove her nuts! She decided to let him take his time and took a deep breath herself, still reeling from the revelation about Charlie. It was tragic.

Jack turned back to Sam and sighed. "You know I love you, right?"

Sam's eyes filled with tears. Just an hour earlier she'd told Katie that Jack seriously struggled with voicing this emotion and now, to have him just say it like that, totally out of the blue, moved her more than anything else.

"Yeah, I know. I love you, too, you know."

"Katie said that that was the reason you wanted me to be your next-of-kin?" Jack asked tentatively.

Sam looked at him, meeting his gaze. She felt they'd covered this but answered his question honestly. "Yeah, I suppose it is. I love you and want you to make decisions when I can't because I trust you."

Jack walked back to Sam and took her hand again. He looked from her to the grave they were standing beside. "Charlie, this is Sam," he began quietly. "You would've liked her. She loves ice hockey and could build you the best kite you could ever fly," Jack bragged, knowing what Sam had built one for Cassie the previous summer.

Jack didn't say any more, so Sam took the initiative, whispering, "Hi, Charlie. I wish I could've met you."

Jack pulled Sam closer and simply held her as they both got lost in their own memories, Jack of his little boy and Sam of her mother. Two people missing from their lives that each would have wished to introduce to the other.

Suddenly Sam shivered. It was still early spring and the spot where they were standing was open to the wind howling around the cemetery.

Jack pulled her even tighter and wrapped the sides of his jacket around her, then started talking. "Sam, being with you has been incredible. You gave me back my life when I thought it was over. I do want a say in what happens to you, but I just don't trust that I'll make the right decision at the time."

"Maybe we need someone else to counter sign the forms," Sam said practically.

"You mean like Daniel or Teal'c?" Jack asked, and Sam turned her face into the crook of his neck.

"No, I mean like Katie, someone who knows us but is detached enough to be objective about the situations we may find ourselves in."

"I'd like that. It would mean that I could share the responsibility."

"So, that's settled, then. We're each other's next of kin and Katie counter signs."

"I don't just want to be your next-of-kin, Sam," Jack whispered.

Sam turned in Jack's arms so she could look directly into his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Jack took a deep breath and then asked the question he'd wanted to ask since before this silly form business had come along. "I mean, I want to be more than that. I want to be your husband."

Sam stepped back, out of his embrace. "You can't be serious!"

Jack sighed. Clearly he'd picked the wrong moment to ask the question. He rubbed his hand through his hair. "Well, yeah, I am serious. I've wanted to ask you for weeks but then, well, you know... you asked about that form. But now it just feels right."

Sam simply stared at him. He was asking her to marry him, at his son's grave, and after they'd spent the last few weeks barely speaking to each other. Only Jack could feel that this 'just feels right'.

"Why now?" Sam asked, needing some clarification on what she could only describe as a giant leap in their relationship.

"It wasn't supposed to be now."

That stopped Sam mid breath. "What do you mean?" Right at that moment she felt like she'd stepped into a parallel universe because very little of this made any sense.

"Remember when the form came up, we were supposed to go for a meal?"

"Yes..." Sam did remember. They'd cancelled when he'd refused to sign her form.

"I was planning on asking you that night," Jack said solemnly.

"Jack, I don't understand. If you were planning on asking me to marry you, why couldn't you sign a simple form?"

Jack broke her gaze and turned away from her again. "It hit me, okay? It made me realise the huge responsibility I was taking on and... and I panicked."

"I don't buy it, Jack. You never panic in any situation." Sam walked closer to him. "Tell me!" she implored.

"Don't you get it, Sam? I've never truly let you in. You know the Colonel, not Jack. Or at least I thought you did, until you turned up here. I did panic. I wanted to marry you but I suppose I hadn't realised what that commitment would actually mean. I do now and I want to marry you. I'm still scared of not making the right decisions but I want you by my side."

By this stage Sam was in tears. "You're a very strange man, Jack O'Neill, with really strange timing. But I want the same as you. I want you by my side, too."

Jack smiled in relief. "So, is that a yes?"

Sam leaned towards him to kiss him. "Yes," she whispered as she joined her lips to his and sealed their commitment to each other.

 **AN: So I hope you enjoyed a little visit back into the universe. I still have two stories from it so I hope to get back to them soon. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.**


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